I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize