I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
