I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
