i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
