Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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