dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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