your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
