I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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