Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
