Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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