who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
