I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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