And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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