Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
