I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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