You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
