I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
