even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
our cab driver is having phone sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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