smell my finger.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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