I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
