i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize