How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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