dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
