Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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