just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
