Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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