Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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