they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My feet surprised me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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