im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
