Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
