I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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