Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
