and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
