PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize