you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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