Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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