i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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