Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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