Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize