Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
