Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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