Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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