just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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