he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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