I'm lost and stupid without you.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
