During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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