i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
