i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
