Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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