Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
