No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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