Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
