I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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