I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
